The Challenge of Bitterness and Blame
No, my daughters. My bitterness is much worse than yours because the Lord has sent me so much trouble. (Ruth 1:13 GW) [see full devotional text in the link below]
The story of Ruth the Moabitess is a glimmer of light during the national darkness Israel went through in the periodic leadership of the Judges sent by God to deliver His people from their oppressors.
Because of the many turns in the larger story of the Book of Ruth, I see several story vignettes laid out within the book as a whole. The theme of redemption runs throughout the Book of Ruth and looks ahead in a prophetic way to Jesus—the Redeemer of all humanity.
The Bitter Goodbye
In this story found in Chapter 1 of Ruth (Ruth 1:7–14), Naomi plans to return to her homeland with her two widowed daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth. As they prepare to head to Judah, Naomi realizes how difficult the travel and transition back home will be for all three of them.
The two Moabite women would be outsiders back in Judah. They were foreigners in both culture and religion. So, Naomi urges Orpah and Ruth to return to their own people, land, and gods and speaks a blessing over them.
As she kisses them goodbye, Orpah and Ruth weep out loud and insist on going back with Naomi. But Naomi tries to reason with them—she has nothing to offer them and they’d be better off in their own familiar homeland.
There’s an obvious bond among these three women forged by time and shared hardships. Each of them is without a husband or children. They’ve grieved together in life. Now, each of these women makes different choices.
At this point, Naomi shares her heart honestly and openly when she expresses her own bitterness about her situation and blames God for it. Once again, they erupt with loud grieving with the realization a choice needs to be made and Naomi tries to clarify herself, her decision, and the inevitable separation.
Orpah kisses Naomi goodbye, but Ruth clings to her. This is a redemptive turning point. It may not seem so at first glance, but it is a significant event. It’s a choice, with future impact seen later in the story of Ruth as it unfolds.
Grief, Separation, and Choices
Imagine the bond among these three women. They were a family with shared memories and grief. The two Moabite women seem to have a sense of hope and shelter in Naomi’s God.
Saying goodbye and moving far away brings the reality of separation into clear focus. This was especially so in those days. Once they separated, there would be no going back to visit one another either way.
Our present freedom to travel from one place to another was unknown even a century ago except for the very wealthy. Only those looking for a new life in a new place would risk this kind of separation. Even so, it has its own immeasurable costs.
Missionaries who set out for distant lands in years gone by knew the grief of goodbyes and separation from loved ones and their homeland. Many knew they would never return. They either didn’t have the resources or knew their destiny was to die while on the mission field.
Even now, cross-cultural missionaries have a lot of goodbyes to say. Some are much harder than others. Every missionary experiences this, not only when they leave but while on the field. Missionaries learn to say goodbye often as people come and go.
When my wife and I left our family and friends, our home culture, and our home church to move to the Philippines, we also left our oldest son to finish high school. That was the hardest goodbye. And our first year was the roughest year for us as a family on the field.
Twenty-four years later, it was difficult to say our final goodbyes as we brought our ministry. But each goodbye came because of a choice we made.
But goodbyes and separations are not always by choice. There are some goodbyes where other people leave and we remain. Some separations are not our choice but the result of circumstances beyond our control.
Where’s the Redemption in All of This?
Redemption comes when we choose to say goodbye and move on because we see beyond the separation and grief of those goodbyes. Sometimes it’s a matter of faith to see beyond the situation. At other times, God’s grace and comfort help us move forward, even when there’s uncertainty.
Naomi only saw her situation from her point of view. She was bitter and blamed God. Orpah realized the logic of Naomi’s choice to go back to her homeland and people. So she chose to stay in her homeland with her people and her gods.
But Ruth saw beyond her situation by faith. She trusted in Naomi’s God and had hope beyond their present circumstances. As the story continues, we see how pivotal a figure Ruth becomes in these stories of redemption, even the greatest redemption story for all humanity.
But times of separation and grief are also times of choice. We can choose to hang on to the bitterness they bring or let go of it. We can choose to blame or trust God. We can focus on the loss or look forward by faith beyond the loss.
When you face a difficult goodbye or separation, ask the Lord for grace to handle it well, comfort to endure it, and faith to see beyond it. We can focus on what’s lost or look forward by faith.
Reflection—
Times of separation and grief are also times of choice. We can choose to hang on to the bitterness they bring or let go of it. We can choose to blame or trust God. We can see loss or look forward by faith beyond the loss.
Prayer Focus—
When you face a difficult goodbye or separation, ask the Lord for grace to handle it well, comfort to endure it, and faith to see beyond it.
This is an excerpt from the book Stories of Redemption by Trip Kimball (available on Amazon)
