Pleasant Words Are Sweet and Healthy for Us
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Harsh words—the fruit of our pride
Years ago, an assistant pastor told me I didn’t have a “shepherd’s heart.” It stunned me when I heard this and the wound went deep. It wasn’t true for me, which is why his words wounded me, but sadly, it ended up being true of him.
The Lord gave me a clearer perspective and understanding through prayer and encouragement from my wife and close friends.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me,” goes the old children’s refrain. But the truth is—words can and do hurt. It’s not just about insults and taunts—those are certainly not pleasant words—but many other words can hurt us.
It can be as simple as words unspoken. Many a child, even spouses, never or rarely hear the words, “I love you,” or other words of encouragement and affection. They also don’t hear healing words like, “Please forgive me” or any apology or admission of wrong.
One tactic interrogators and lawyers use to break people is to sow doubt. Interrogators commonly used this in prison camps to break the spirit of POWs. They would say things like, “Your family and country have forgotten you” and “No one is going to rescue you.”
How about unfair or false accusations? This happens a lot in homes and in workplaces, even classrooms, let alone in politics and with social media. Harsh words are the fruit of pride. When caught up in pride, it’s common to say hurtful things to others.
These untrue words echo inside us as self-talk and continue to be hurtful and damaging. So, yes, words from various sources and in different forms can hurt.
The surprising antidote is to hear and utter pleasant and truthful words— “sweet to the spirit and healthy for the body.” It may sound too simplistic but it’s true.
This is why we see so many admonitions about our speech and the words we say in Proverbs. These gentle warnings and kind counsel are like guard rails to keep us on a sound path in life and in relation to others.
Scripture
A wise person’s heart controls his speech,
and what he says helps others learn.
Pleasant words are ⌊like⌋ honey from a honeycomb—
sweet to the spirit and healthy for the body. (Proverbs 16:23-24 GW)
(Context—Proverbs 16:16-24 GW)
Simple insights
We can break this middle segment of verses in Proverbs 16 (verses 16-24) into three general topics—the value of wisdom, the danger of pride, and the value of wise words.
We’re told that gaining wisdom is better and more valuable than gold or silver. Then warned that pride leads to disaster, and that humility is more beneficial to us. Further admonitions speak to the value of understanding and wisdom with our words.
When we speak the truth harshly, intending to hurt someone, it is destructive. This is why understanding needs to be applied when speaking the truth.
As said in another place in the Bible, we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Using pleasant words is not good enough, as nice as they might be. The pleasant words spoken here in Proverbs (verse 23) come from a wise person and are helpful, not harmful.
The foundation for pleasant words spoken with wisdom is the truth of God. We find the primary source of the Lord’s truth in the Scriptures as it’s revealed to us by His Spirit in our minds and hearts.
Whoever gives attention to the Lord’s word prospers, and blessed is the person who trusts the Lord. (Prov 16:20 GW)
This leads to an understanding that is useful and beneficial—not only for those who hear pleasant words wisely spoken—but this divinely based understanding becomes a fountain of life for those who speak them (verses 21-22).
So, let’s be careful with our words—not speaking carelessly, but wisely. When we choose to speak pleasant words wisely it will bless and help others and bless us also.
Reflection—
The foundation for pleasant words spoken with wisdom is the truth of God, which leads to an understanding that is useful and beneficial. Let us be careful with our words—not speaking carelessly but wisely—so we may bless and help others and be a blessing.
Prayer Focus—
In your prayer times, ask the Lord to help you be mindful throughout the day in all your interactions with others, that you would speak wise and pleasant words.
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