Closing the Extended Loophole
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32 NIV) [see full text in button/link below]
The Realities of Marriage and Divorce
Divorce has become commonplace, spawning a slew of attorneys who specialize in it. Over the years, the government has established some legal protections for spouses and children who experience divorce. However, the impact of divorce on people, family circles, and society extends far beyond any legal attempt to mitigate its consequences.
Of course, some people try to avoid the possibility and problem of divorce by foregoing marriage in a legal sense, by living together in a marriage-like relationship. What we call a common-law marriage. But this only avoids the legal aspect of divorce, not the reality of it.
The concept of divorce is not a recent phenomenon, and it is far more than a legal transaction. Several studies and reports exist that look at the problems of promiscuity. Having many sexual partners and broken relationships creates ongoing repercussions. 1
Aside from the obvious emotional fallout from a divorce, including legal and financial impacts, the end of any long-term relationship has a ripple effect throughout a person’s life and other relationships. 2
The accumulated experience we have with previous relationships gets dragged into future relationships, whether or not we realize it. We bring our emotional baggage with us, no matter who we’re with or where we go.
Divorce is never a solution. It’s a dissolution. Divorce destroys the bond of a relationship established by the union of two people. God says, “I hate divorce,” through the prophet Malachi. Why does God hate divorce? It’s destructive. It’s the tearing apart of a union. A breaking of faith and trust. 3
For God, divorce is not a legal issue. It’s a relational one.
Insights
When a spouse dies, memories of them live on, though they’re no longer physically present. But when spouses divorce, the relationship may die, but each person lives on. Every encounter with a divorced spouse is a reminder of a failed relationship, regardless of why it ended.
Children of divorce go through their own confusing process of grieving the loss of the relationship. This struggle is real and affects them for years. Although documented in studies and reports, I’ve seen this firsthand in families I’ve known who’ve endured divorce.
Even those who don’t divorce in a legal sense still contend with feelings of loss from a broken relationship, especially when they see their former partner with someone else.
We need to understand the marriage relationship at its point of origin to understand the disruptive and destructive effects of divorce. In its original sense, in the Bible, marriage is the union of a man and a woman consummated by their physical union. This union bonded them together as partners in life, as one flesh. 4
The apostle Paul spoke about this to the believers in Corinth, a culture steeped in immorality and idolatry—
Don’t you realize that the person who unites himself with a prostitute becomes one body with her? God says, “The two will be one.” (1 Corinthians 6:16 GW)
Paul says this in the context of understanding that whatever may be permissible is not beneficial. Every time a believer with God’s Spirit living in them engages with another person sexually, they bring God into that sexual union. 5
Redefining the Nature of God’s Kingdom
What Jesus does in redefining the Law related to divorce is to close the loophole created through centuries of reinterpretation of the Law by various rabbis and scribes.
Jesus refers to the Law given in Deuteronomy, where a provision was made for divorce if a husband found something “indecent” or “some uncleanness in her”. This Law also says the husband can’t take the woman back as his wife after he divorces her.
Later in the gospel of Matthew, when Jewish leaders press Jesus further about their supposed “legal right” to divorce, here’s what Jesus tells them—
“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.” (Matthew 19:8 NIV 84)
The various interpretations by rabbis and other experts in the Law changed the meaning of “some uncleanness.“ This could include many reasons, even burning the husband’s dinner. They created a loophole in the Law to accommodate their preferences. 7
Let’s be honest. We all look for ways to circumvent or interpret laws and rules so they won’t get in the way of what we want to do. This might include telling white lies, being less than forthright with the truth, or not paying for something. Somehow, we justify such actions. “It’s owed to us … everyone does it.” We exceed the speed limit and claim we’re just “driving with the flow of traffic.” We can justify anything and often do.
Jesus closes the divorce loophole when He redefines the Law back to God’s original intent—to protect the bond and sanctity of the marriage union where the two become one flesh. Jesus makes it clear. The only valid reason for breaking the bond of marriage with a divorce is infidelity. 8
This doesn’t sit well with many people in our present culture. It didn’t sit well in Jesus’ day either. It’s easy to get caught up in debates about how this doesn’t fit our cultural norms today, or come up with other reasons divorce is needed. There are plenty of worldly, cultural, legal, and personal loopholes.
But the point Jesus made is simple. The marriage relationship is a bond, a commitment between a husband and wife, intended to be a partnership for life through all phases of life.
It is the union of two lives as one. “The two shall become one flesh.” 9 When this union is broken, there are enduring, far-reaching consequences. Adultery, divorces, and remarriages will continue to happen in our culture and within the church, but we don’t adjust the truth of God to fit our culture.
Indeed, the grace and forgiveness of God and His mercy are greater than our failures and weaknesses, but the consequences and effects of breaking the bond of marriage are broad. We find God’s blessing through faithfulness to Him and to one another.
God hates divorce because it breaks a bond, a union never fully dissolved.
He hates the destructive nature of divorce.
Reflection—
The marriage relationship is a bond. The commitment or covenant between a husband and wife is a lifetime partnership. Divorce is destructive, no matter how justified or necessary it may seem. And God’s mercy and grace are available to all who seek them and seek the Lord.
Prayer Focus—
If you’ve endured the consequences of divorce, ask the Lord for His forgiveness, guidance, and restoration. If you are struggling in a current marriage relationship, ask the Lord for renewal of your relationship for both you and your spouse.
Footnotes–
Mulokwa, R. (2024, June 19). Long-Term Effects of Promiscuity | AfroPulse.us. Afro Pulse. https://www.afropulse.us/the-long-term-effects-of-promiscuity-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/
Abpp, S. K. W. P. (2013, April 20). Less may be more. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201304/the-long-term-psychological-effects-of-having-multiple-sex
Wright, C. (2017, May 15). The Deadly Fallout of Divorce - Marriage Missions International. Marriage Missions International. https://marriagemissions.com/deadly-fallout-divorce/
See– Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:14-16 GW; Matthew 19:3-6; Mark 10:2-9
. See– Genesis 2:24-25; Mark 10:6-9
See– 1 Corinthians 6:12-20
See– Deuteuronomy 24:1-4
See the context— Matt 19:3-9 (for more insight, see the commentary in Enduring Word below)
Enduring Word. (2025b, February 11). Enduring Word Bible Commentary Matthew Chapter 19. https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/matthew-19/ (scroll down to relevant verses)
See– Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; 1 Corinthians 6:16 (for more insight, see the commentary in Enduring Word below)
Enduring Word. (2025, February 11). Enduring Word Bible Commentary Matthew Chapter 5. https://enduringword.com/bible-commentary/matthew-5/ (scroll down to relevant verses)
See Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:6-8; Ephesians 5:31.
This is an excerpt from a soon-to-be-published book called The Heart and Soul of God’s Kingdom. Look for it on Amazon with my other books— Trip Kimball on Amazon
