A Simple Way to Deal with Heartsickness
Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
The limitation of emojis and gestures
Along with many others, I’ll use emojis to express thoughts and feelings in text messages and social media. When answering emails on my mobile phone, I’ll occasionally include an emoji or two.
Emojis may be cute shortcuts, but they can’t be used to express any genuine depth of emotion or thought. And yet, I often see them and even use them when there are many more emotions or thoughts that ought to be expressed.
We can’t express the heart of a person with an emoji. Even the outline of a heart made with two fingers and thumbs is a limited way to express feelings of love. But we do so because these have become popular shortcut expressions.
When we talk about a person’s heart, we speak of a person’s inner being. It’s deeper than our emotions, but certainly touches us in ways that are good, bad, or conflicted. But sometimes we may be emotionally indifferent.
Indifference may be worse than bad. Indifference shows an emotional blankness—what psychologists call a flat affect—having no response to external stimuli or situations. If we’re indifferent in a general sense, this may indicate a state of shock, numbness, or even clinical depression, for example.
A person with an indifferent nature could suggest anti-social behavioral tendencies. But being sick at heart means a profound sadness and a sense of hopelessness. A human spirit that’s crushed.
What causes someone to be sick at heart? The verse featured here speaks of a delayed hope—a sense of hopelessness. A hope pushed aside by circumstances beyond a person’s control. It’s more than unfilled expectations. It goes deeper.
Scripture
Delayed hope makes one sick at heart,
but a fulfilled longing is a tree of life.
Whoever despises God’s words will pay the penalty,
but the one who fears God’s commands will be rewarded. (Proverbs 13:12-13 GW)
(Context—Proverbs 13:1-13 GW)
Simple Insights
A delayed hope may come in many ways. A refugee in a worn-torn area longs for peace and safety. When someone longs for a marriage partner or to have a child, they also can become heartsick.
Obviously, some life situations are more pressing than others, but a person who is sick at heart focuses on whatever hope seems most important to them.
The proverb goes on to say, “but a fulfilled longing is a tree of life.” This isn’t the longing of a selfish desire, it’s much deeper. When refugees find peace and safety, it’s certainly more fulfilling than a good meal or gaining any possession.
In our work overseas with abandoned and abused children, we witnessed adoptive parents uniting with the child or children they were adopting through our ministry. It was such a sweet and emotionally fulfilling time! We saw the child’s and parents’ longing fulfilled.
The key or cure for those who are heartsick is a change in what they’re focused on. The following verse states this—
but the one who fears God’s commands will be rewarded. (Prov 13:13b GW)
The fear of God isn't a state of anxious fear, but trust—a personal trust in God.
A few years ago, I heard an interview with a journalist kidnapped by Muslim pirates and held for several years for a ransom. As you might expect, he hated his captors and longed for freedom.
After the kidnapped journalist heard a religious leader speak of mercy and forgiveness, he began to change his view of his captors by forgiving them.
He said his attitude began to change towards his captors and the seemingly hopeless situation. His heart and outlook lightened up.
He acknowledged it required discipline. He had to work at forgiving them each day. Eventually, the day came for him to be freed—a longing fulfilled. What was the key for the journalist enduring his long wait? Forgiving his captors enabled him to refocus his feelings.
Are you sick at heart because of a longing in your heart or hope that seems to get pushed back over and over again? The cure is a change of focus.
If you maintain your focus—both your time and attention—on what causes you to be heartsick, your longing will drag you down. That longing will remain distant beyond reach. You need to redirect your attention. How?
God is the author of life—all life, all lives. Entrust your longing to the Lord. When you place your hope in Him, the darkness of your heartsickness will fade. Let Him bring you out of the darkness of hopelessness. He is our anchor of genuine hope.
Reflection—
Set your heart on the Lord as your primary focus—not on what you are heartsick for or about. Do this so it becomes a personal discipline—a commitment of your heart—and trust whatever you are longing for to God.
Prayer Focus—
Learning to trust God in a deeper way requires commitment and discipline in prayer. Prayer is the lifeline for communication with God—to share what's on our hearts and to spend time to wait and listen for Him.
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