What If Finding Our Own Way Doesn't Lead to Where We Expect?
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Finding your own way
Looking back on my own spiritual journey, it seemed I was always looking for a way to live that fit me—that seemed right to me. I was looking for something that was true for me.
But that kept changing as I went through various life experiences and sampled different approaches to life and spirituality. I found that being true to myself was an unreliable guide.
Using one’s own self as a plumb line isn’t such a great idea. It’s unreliable because we internalize values and beliefs based on our acceptance or resistance to what we encounter in life. It’s a combination of acceptance, resistance, or results in a hodgepodge of beliefs and values.
I came to a turning point in my life where I challenged God to reveal Himself to me in some obvious way. After a morning of fasting, hiking through the woods, and waiting, I returned home disappointed. I saw no vision or sign, nor heard any voice of direction.
Later, after grumbling about this failure, I opened up a Bible someone gave me and started reading. I came to where Jesus said the wide gate and easy road leads to destruction and the narrow gate and hard road leads to life (Matt 7:13-14).
I realized I'd been looking for a wide gate with an easy road.
I was heading in the wrong direction and I knew it.
The day started with me challenging God, but ended with God challenging me. I accepted that challenge and my way in life became clearer day by day from that point on.
I've never turned back since that day. But life since then has not always been easy. And yet, my life from that point has been fulfilling and God has blessed me in countless ways.
Scripture
The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger can share its joy.
There is a way that seems right to a person,
but eventually it ends in death.
Even while laughing a heart can ache, and joy can end in grief.
A heart that turns from God becomes bored with its own ways,
but a good person is satisfied with God’s ways.
A gullible person believes anything, but a sensible person watches his step.
A wise person is cautious and turns away from evil,
but a fool is careless and overconfident. (Proverbs 14:10, 12-16 GW)
(Context—Proverbs 14:1-19 GW)
Simple Insights
How often have you heard this quote, "To thine own self be true?" It's a famous quote from William Shakespeare's play, Hamlet. In those times, it had a certain meaning, but we have reinterpreted it differently in our present culture.
What comes to mind when you hear this saying? What does this expression mean to you?
We live in an era when the idea of, “to thine own self be true” is taken to an extreme. Shakespear’s quote, in context, is an appeal to personal genuineness. But current culture stretches this into a distorted sense of individuality.
I came of age when individual self-expression gained its wings. In the ‘60s, we gathered for love-ins and lived communally. While too many went off to war, others “turned on, tuned in, and dropped out.”
When the ‘70s rolled in, the pursuit of self-expression and finding oneself hit its zenith. It was called “the Me Generation” for good reason.
When everyone follows “the way that seems right” to them, it leads to confusion and conflict. It becomes a cosmic traffic jam of souls. Instead of freedom, it brings bondage—the prison of self.
Selfishness is an end in itself. It isolates us and is destructive. The lesson taught in kindergarten is that sharing is healthier than selfishness. But did we learn this and take it to heart?
Relying on our feelings as a compass causes us to lose our way. When we follow our peers who are going their own way, we get swallowed up in more lostness. This all leads to destruction, not fulfillment.
Perhaps this is summed up best in verse 13—
Even while laughing a heart can ache, and joy can end in grief.
This may be hard to hear for many of us, but the larger context of these verses in Proverbs 14 helps clarify its truth.
We all need a reliable guide for the direction of our lives. God's written Word and God's Spirit are always reliable. They've been a trustworthy plumb line for many centuries for millions of people.
Reflection—
Are you wondering if you've chosen the right way for your life? Read through these verses, even listen to them read to you (Proverbs 14 audio). Allow the truth of God and His Spirit to give you insight into all of this.
Prayer Focus—
Ask God for discernment and confirmation of the way of life—a true and fulfilling life—that He intends for you. Ask God to guide you with the peace of His Holy Spirit and the clarity of His truth.
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